


Netherrite-Clad Piglin

by Fallenguardianangel7



Series: Misadventures of Clueless [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Bonding, Fluff, How Do I Tag, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Oneshot, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Pre-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), Team Bonding, Technoblade Hears Voices (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), The Potato War, chat, i was bored
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:35:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28916211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenguardianangel7/pseuds/Fallenguardianangel7
Summary: Techno wakes up in an unfamiliar place with his armour missing and a wound on his side bandaged.I wrote this just for fun, also to get away from the feels of the dream smp.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Misadventures of Clueless [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2120790
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Netherrite-Clad Piglin

Clueless stared down at the unconscious pilgin hybrid that laid just outside the swirling purple of her nether portal. She at first had thought they where just a human with died hair, but after spotting the tusks and ears, she figured it out from there. She blinked. Rubbing her eyes just to make sure she wasn’t hallucinating from sleep depravation as a consequence of spending all night mining. But no. The pink haired netherite-clad hybrid was still there, smelling of fire and smoke with a concerning amount of blood staining a white dress shirt.  
Clueless sighed. Pulling here blond hair up in a quick ponytail before slipping her hands under the man’s arm pits, dragging the down the acacia plank path to her simple two-story home made from the same wood and logs. 

“Fuck, why couldn’t you have been considerate and passed out without your armour on, hm? Who have been a lot easier to carry you,” Clueless complained, bumping the door open and dragging the man into the centre of the room. Her dog, Phil, looked up at her, trotting over to sniff at the body. She rummaged through her chest for a moment before pulling out her medical supplies and a healing potion. Turing back to the hybrid, she sat down, setting everything on the floor and in reach as she began the awkward task off pulling off the man’s armour, trying to find where he was injured.

“Do you know this guy Fred?” Clueless asked the zombie pigman sitting by the window with their chicken, named ‘Mistake’ after she had dropped an egg and it had spawned. Fred then decided that the chicken was now their best friend and they spent all day and night together watching the world through her window. Fred just grunted, not even looking over, “Great,” Clueless mumbled, finally yanking the netherite chestplate over the man’s head. After that, the rest of the armour came off easier. She set it to the side and set Phil to watch over it as she began cleaning up the wound. The man had a large gash up the side of their waist, were the would be a gap in the armour so it could be taken on and off. 

Clueless grimaced as she cut the blooded shirt away, cleaning the wound up and beginning to bandage it, “Why couldn’t you just not get injured? I was saving this for an emergency,” She complained as she popped open the healing potion, plugging the hybrid’s nose and tilting his head back so his mouth opened and was forced to swallow when she poured the potion down their throat. 

Clueless sat back, staring at the man before sighing. She collected the armour, grunting with the effort of lifting it as she pulled it up to the top floor where her furnaces and bed was. She dumped the armour into the Enter Chest by her bed for safe keeping. (also, because she didn’t want someone who was fully armed with netherite to kill her as soon as they woke up. This way she had insurance.) 

She glanced at the clock for a moment, before flopping down on the bed, trusting Phil to wake her when their guest woke up.  
\-----------------------------------  
Technoblade slowly came into consciousness and groaned, reaching up to massage his temples to try and relieve himself from the killer headache he had. Pushing himself up to sitting as he blinked his eyes open, freezing as he took in the unfamiliar surroundings. He was in a simple house with double chests on the wall across from the door, with a ladder leading down into what he assumed was a basement. On the left side of the door was a room that had the telltale smell of netherwart and gunpowder, so he assumed that it must be where the owner made potions. On the right side of the house was a stairway to the upstairs, and next to that was a zombie pigman and a chicken. Sitting beside Techno was a large husky. 

“Heh?” Techno looked around, confused, before looking down and realizing his armour was gone, “Heh?!”

The dog stood up, and trotted past the pigman and headed upstairs, Techno just stared, before slowly standing, wincing as he pulled on his wound. He was surprised as he realized it was bandaged, and he spotted and empty bottle on the floor, with a few droplets of a health potion left in it. 

_Pigman healed you?_  
_Armour is gone! Kill them!_  
_E_

“I don’t think the pigman healed me,” Techno mumbled under his breath, watching the stairs as he heard a thump and a voice complaining about a ‘Phil’ pushing her off the bed. He narrowed his eyes as the dog trotted down the stairs again, a person following after them. She where on the taller side of average, with wavy blond hair falling down their back and pulled out of there face with a pair of purple tinted glasses on the top of her head. She wore no armour, but he could see the places on her belt where weapons and potions would hang. The girl looked up at him with sea blue eyes meeting his red ones, waving sleepily.

“Could you have woken up a little later? I just pulled an all-nighter,” she complained as she reached the bottom of the stairs.

_Only one? Weak._  
_Wear’s our armour?_  
_Techno without crown? Is this real?!_  
_Kill them._

Techno ignored the voices, putting a clawed hand on his uninjured side, “Yeah, can’t control that. Sorry.”

She sighed, walking over and holding out her hand, “Call me Clueless. I’m the one who owns this home you bled all over.”

He raised an eyebrow, taking her hand in his to shake, being careful of his claws, “Technoblade. Clueless isn’t the most flattering name, how’d you get it?” 

Clueless shrugged, “Just an old nickname that stuck. But can you really judge me?” She finished with a smirk, letting go of Techno’s hand, “So, how’d you end up outside my portal?”

“Good question. Where’s my armour?” Techno countered. 

Clueless looked up at him “I couldn’t exactly clean the wound with you wearing it, so I put it in my Ender Chest.”

_She stole it!_  
_Blood_  
_Blood for the Blood God_  
_Blood_  
_Blood_

Techno ignored the voices, not able to talk with them when she was here, “Hm. Any chance I’ll get that back?”

“Of course, I’ve got no use for it. It won’t fit me,” She said, “As soon as I’m sure you aren’t going to kill me.”

_Smart_  
_Blood_  
_Blood later then_  
_I like her_

He sighed, “Well then, how do I prove I’m not going to kill you?”

Clueless blinked, “Oh- I- I didn’t plan this far,” She trailed off, looking down as she thought, “Um…. How about you just… just come on,” She turned, walking out the doors and down the path. Techno sighed, following her outside.  
The path turned right and lead to a crossroad. One road leading to a dock and the swirling purple nether portal, blood stained the wood on that path, and the other lead to a large stone brick church, a tall tower with smoke coming out the top, a stable holding two horses and a donkey, and an ugly farm with a sad shack beside it. 

Clueless turned around, gesturing around, “Okay, this is my base I guess… there’s a village around the mountain too… I guess, what can you do?”

Techno almost didn’t hear her, just staring at the farm in shock. 

_What_  
_Worst farm award_  
_I understand why she’s called clueless now_  
_A disgrace to the Potato King_  
_Technofix_  
_Technofix_

Techno pointed at the farm, “Please tell me you’re replacing that.”

Clueless just blinked, looking up at it in confusion, “Why? It works.”

He ran a hand down his face, groaning as the voices screamed at him, “You know what? I’m going to fix this, even if you didn’t have my armour, I would still fix this. It’s so sad,” He marched over to the farm, leaving a sputtering girl behind him. 

“What? What’s so wrong with it?”

“It’s inefficient, ugly, and just plain sad!”

“It works though! I don’t need more then that!”

“It’s a disgrace!”  
\-------------------------------  
Clueless stared at the large field in front of her, before turning to the pig hybrid beside her, “I don’t need all this.”

Techno shrugged, “You never know. At least you don’t have that ugly thing anymore.”

She sighed. Techno has spent the last week tearing down her old farm and replanting it well teaching her how to properly care for the crops. When she had asked how a warrior knew all this, he had just shrugged and told her that he had a potato war with a squid. She decided to not ask how that worked.

Techno had healed up nicely, and honestly, they had a strange sort of friendship now, it would be strange to live alone again with only a zombie pigman as company. Clueless pulled an Ender Chest out of her inventory, placing on the ground and pulling out Techno’s armour, holding it out to him, “Here you go.”

He took it, putting it on with practiced ease. He looked up at her, nodding in thanks. 

She smiled, nodding back as they walked in silence to the portal. When they where right in front of them, she turned to him, “You never did tell me how you got hurt that day.”

Techno nodded, smirking, “Oh, I was being hunted by royal guards from some tyrant country.”

Clueless just stared at him, before sighing, rummaging through her pockets, and pulled out a compass with a purple tint to it. “There’s a load stone outside my portal on the nether side now. Took forever to get enough netherite scraps for it, and I could have used it to upgrade my armour, so don’t make me regret it,” She warned as she held it out to the hybrid, “If you ever need a place to stay, whether it’s to hide out or just to relax or something, you can come here.”

Techno blinked, staring down at the compass before smiling, reaching out and taking it, “Someone’s gotta make sure you keep that farm alive.”

Clueless rolled her eyes, “Just get going already you pig,” she teased, pushing him towards the portal. Techno just laughed, stepping through and disappearing. Clueless watched the purple swirl for a moment, before sighing and turning back to her house, “You know… I’ve been thinking of making a palace…”

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this just for fun, I was bored and wanted to write something but couldn't get these block people out of my head.  
> This is not a ship.
> 
> I drew clueless because I was bored so here. Yes, she's based off my minecraft skin, but she is not me. just clarifying that i guess.  
> 


End file.
